Men don’t Gossip.

Men do not gossip, they only share trending news on the pandemic and some other shit!

I’m one person who is very lazy, so I work with having a lot of sticky notes all over my house to constantly remind me what I need to do. So, one of the sticky notes reads “If you cannot say something good about somebody, just shut up” and its one of my favorite life principles. I know when I say principles it sounds too serious but I guarantee you that it is. What did you think I was going to say?? Exactly!! We all often auto fill stuff, and it’s that way for most people. Or so, I like to think.

Naturally, people talk about things, and people, and things they have no business in… and that’s okay. But reason with me for a moment; what do you take from a conversation where one of your guys tells you something about your mutual friend? We tend to forget that while gossiping is interesting and maybe fun, the things we tell people influence their perception of “us”. If you are my friend, and you tell me something someone tells you in confidence, then I automatically cannot trust you. We forget that, very often. Well, I know what you are thinking. What if, someone really needs help that I cannot offer and someone else they wouldn’t talk to can??

Intention… Yes, Intention!!! The less you care about something, the better you tend to perform at it. I did not make that up, but then maybe I did. Although, I can prove it, if you want. Intention to me is the determinant of whether I will excel or fail in something. In high school, I got this story someone reminded me of on Twitter.

I hated my Biology teacher, mostly because she used to talk shit when we failed; as though it was our intention to fail. But truth is, I personally did not give a hoot about books back then. That’s in my first year of high school, then in my second year, I got suspended for “attempting to beat her up”. Guys, the beating I got from the deputy Principal… Hell, you see how you look like after a tough day of manual work. Usually, you are not as “dirty” but you are neither as clean. When I came out of that office, post-thrashing, I looked worse. Fam, I had dirt on my eyebrows. It was not good in there… Anyways, the thing is, intention is crucial when going through life. See, I did not actually beat the teacher, but I allegedly intended to do so.

The intention behind what we say or do is crucial in all our endeavors. When someone says something, negative or positive, but with a good intention; then that is welcome. But if your intentions are skewed, and probably self-centered, you know deep down that you are a shitty person. But if you do something out of a good intention, then you feel good about it, and yourself. For instance, I like to hit up pretty ladies on the streets with a “hey, you are just beautiful/ you look great” and then just walk. Appreciate, and that’s it. Of course, I break it sometimes with something naughtier, or irrelevant but just for fun. After all, cheap thrills (link to previous article) are actually not that cheap in how they feel.

Feed me gossip and I’ll not trust you with any of my shit, but if you say something with a good intention, then no judgments. You can always tell, do not worry about the thin line in between, the conscience or the instinct never does you dirty on these ones if you actually pay attention. Watch out for people’s intentions around you, in your life, in what they say, in how they say it. Observe!!!

Do not speak ill of others, in their presence or absence. Someone said it perfectly that “only talk about that which you have a duty to repeat” otherwise, just do you. The wise man said that you will easily see the peck in your friend’s eye but not the log in yours. I say, hurtful words, once repeated, can create permanent enemies. I doubt anybody wants that.

Speak highly of others, and if you have nothing good to say about somebody, just shut up. It won’t kill you to keep it to yourself… you should try it. Trust takes years to build, and minutes, maybe hours to break; be wise! We all have a vault of information, where we keep files about everyone we encounter. And that is what defines how we perceive the people around us, the innate things you probably can’t say aloud.

We do not love, trust, like or have any positive feeling about others at any particular time. I cannot say that I started loving you or trusting you on a particular day at a certain time. It is all gradual, through what we encounter and similarly, so is the case for negative qualities. I see you lie to someone, will I believe in you really? But when I see you constantly practice and uphold honesty and integrity, then I can ultimately term you as being honorable.

Everyone has a vault, don’t fill it with negative accounts. Be kind, be honest, real, realistic, faithful, and straight up. Be human; there is no shame in that, but make sure my auto fill is not all about undesirable things. You think people don’t notice, but I guarantee you that we do. Remember, if you have nothing good to say about somebody, just shut up!

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