It’s bad… We are just a bunch of pretenders, aren’t we?? Now, let me give you a simple perception of what meditation really is. I know, its meditation again!! But, wait for it, this will help get everything into perspective. Now, for this one, I need you to be a little, teeny-tiny open-minded because I might sound insane. “You are NOT your body”, and I know how this sounds, but this will soon make sense.
I believe that “we”, or rather the person we refer to when we say “I” is different from our body. In fact, our bodies are just what “animate” the ‘self” enabling us to experience the outward stimuli through our senses. Through the ears we listen, eyes facilitate vision, and so on, as you know it, but the important one is the mouth because it shares what we feel deep inside. It’s the only way to “accurately” know how the self, or rather the conscious “us” desires, or feels. Therefore, do not tear someone down using your words yet you can complement them, heck, that sounds too ‘ideal’. I think staying quiet is an interesting choice here.
Anyway, here’s a more straightforward way to look at it; Imagine your body is a car, (what animates us) and “You” are the driver of that car; makes sense?? I hope so. As the driver, you look through the windscreen to decide when to turn left, right or however you want to turn. Point is, an outward stimulus determine your actions, but; the efforts we make on the highway are not always, what we would’ve desired. See where I am going with this? Probably not.
Sometimes, as a driver, you have to run through red lights, (often not literally but you get the idea), for whatever reason even though you did not want to. This is the only time the brain, through thoughts, should actually chip in and overrule the self. Other times in traffic you have to be an idiot to survive these matatu drivers (these guys are crazy, but they do get us where we heading on time. Sometimes!), drunkards testing new walking styles by the roadside, a heifer on heat, or an insane Euro truck driver just showing off. Haha!
The thing is, when you identify too much with outward stimuli, you no longer identify with yourself, the “you”. When you no longer identify with self, then you lead a life seeking validation. You attempt to live an “acceptable” life, how society, friends, family, wife, husband, or whoever it is dictates. This leaves us familiar with others, but insanely unaware of who we really are; the self. Back to the car-driver analogy; I want you to realize that the driver (you) can exist without the car (body) such as when one dies. After all, you can also walk to your destination, although it will likely take longer; but the car cannot fulfil its purpose without the driver; It was made to be driven!! Now let us assume that the car can self-drive, (like how we allow outward stimuli control who we are), it still needs the driver/owner to experience the drive. After all, once it gets to its destination, the car cannot do much on its own.
People are struggling to lead a life others expect of them and its unfortunate. It’s living an unfulfilled dream, it’s like how we all feel when our granny has an iPhone to call and very rarely text, yet android is too expensive for us. Let us talk porn for a second, and trust me; you will be amazed by statistics. In 2019 (last year for those who forgot), Pornhub received 42 Billion visits averaging 115 million visits a day. This is hilarious since its more than the population of Canada, Australia, Poland and Netherlands combined; each day!! Let us say that is just world stats and focus on something local for a minute. Did you know that Pornhub stats indicate that close to 50% of Kenyan women are regular users, with the site registering above-average female visitors annually since 2016?
Porn, you can watch or not, I don’t really care about that, but this says something about people’s hypocrisy. Wait, Pornhub also indicated that 61% of its visitors range between 18-34 years. Further, the site reported that women search categories such as the infamous #lambaLolo increased by 260%. The most impressive stat was, however, the fact that most porn is watched on Sunday!! I don’t know whether it’s before or after church because we Africans love going to church but, Wow!
I did not single out women, the data was just easier to find, so don’t get pissed yet. If you think about those numbers; and consider that’s only ONE site out of the many, you realize something. People be showing you the versions they think you want to see, I mean, Stats show close to 50% of women watch porn, but out here, nobody seems to be doing that. Let us face it really, the society in which we are part of, supposes it’s bad. Nevertheless, ‘we’ do it; so why are we all so afraid of being judged yet we judge others all the time. And, this is not about porn really, it’s just a classic example of how much hypocrisy looms amidst.
Personally, I don’t judge but having led most of my life caring what society thinks, expects or dictates, I know how liberating it is to be yourself. We are all flawed and continually seeking validation but from the wrong sources. To be the ultimate version of ourselves, we need not focus and seek outward validation; but instead, seek the peace that originates from within (oneness with self; body and soul). Do not let your thoughts, a product of the body’s outside stimuli, dictate, and over-run the YOU. Our life is like a parking lot, full of different car models, some are upgraded to the latest engines, and some are mere old models like the Peugeot 504’s; but it’s always up to YOU to decide which model of “you” you want to drive. The car analogy in retrospect!
Be yourself, live the life you believe you deserve, I mean; you have to love yourself a little more. Make your own rules and live life your way because we all have this one chance to make the best out of. Maybe we are a simulation, perhaps there is no tomorrow, perhaps it is all an illusion, but what loss is there if you lived your real best share of it? We are all an insecure bunch trying to figure life out, sometimes we don’t, other times we think we do, but we don’t, and others we see our limited versions of things and tend to cling to them, judging others but so afraid of the same. I hope there is not a moment you let pass that you are scared of being true to self, and I hope not a single day ends that you wish you’d said or done something but didn’t because of fear.
Oooh, and Friday is the day with the least Pornhub visits. Who would’ve thought??